Truth - 6/29/07

Tarski's indefinability Theorem, informally, the theorem states that arithmetical truth cannot be defined in arithmetic. (Wikipedia) Cheryl's corollary: truth cannot be defined in truth.

Today when I first opened my yahoo account the first three friends blogs I saw all were talking about truth. I thought, truth must be the word for today. What is truth really? We all see the world through our own lenses and those lenses are made up of the sum total of our life experience. No two people will see the same event in the same way. So is there such a thing as an absolute truth or is truth determined by a predominance of opinion towards a thing? I tend to think that truth is like a stick you pick up. One end is truth and the other end is un-truth and that the increments within that range are all available for you to access depending on where your lenses are focusing at the moment. It doesn't help me to think truth is what is real, because I believe that reality is just an interpretation, again through my/your lenses. We have a consensual reality in which we all believe that ground is below and sky is above, and gravity works, but I'm not sure that much else isn't malleable.

Merriam Webster defines truth as:

Pronunciation: 'trüth
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural truths /'trü[th]z, 'trüths/
Etymology: Middle English trewthe, from Old English trEowth fidelity; akin to Old English trEowe faithful -- more at TRUE
1 a archaic : FIDELITY, CONSTANCY b : sincerity in action, character, and utterance
2 a (1) : the state of being the case : FACT (2) : the body of real things, events, and facts : ACTUALITY (3) often capitalized : a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality b : a judgment, proposition, or idea that is true or accepted as true <truths of thermodynamics> c : the body of true statements and propositions
3 a : the property (as of a statement) of being in accord with fact or reality b chiefly British : TRUE 2 c : fidelity to an original or to a standard

On a Lighter Note - 6/27/07

Circe poisoning the sea

Friend Tomlin says "the blogs are dead today". That is the poet in him speaking, for he is a nomad seeking inspiration.

A friend who shall remain nameless sent me these in mid-May and I've been waiting for a dead place in the blogosphere to post them. According to Mr. Tomlin, today is the day.

Investment Tips for 2007

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2007-08.

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner, Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6 Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

Where Do You Resonate? - 6/26/07

I've been re-reading some of Cat's posts and saving some so that I may read them again once Lisa closes her Mother's site down for good. I came across one entitled "Far Memory" dated January 29, 2007. This is a quote from part of that post:

I've recalled lives spontaneously, too, before I knew about reincarnation or hypnotic regression--I needed to remember them to finish off the tag ends of involvement with them. One of the things I've learned in my investigation of them is that there is an individual soul note that is the same throughout anyone's lives. Personalities change as wildly as fashion, though. Knowing about this is enough to encourage me to consider what I think and do and how I act. I promise you, karmaic crow feathers are NOT a tasty dish. It also has taught me that you cannot solve anything by just growing past it or suppressing it. Just like the gum wrapper you toss on the ground doesn't just disappear, even if it seems to disappear from your life, neither does an unkind word or betraying yourself. The point isn't, and never was punishment. The point is learning how to be human.

I was fascinated by the idea that every one of us has a "soul note" that is the same throughout all of our lives. I thought at first she was talking along the lines of core soul purpose, but I wondered if it could be a sound as well. Have you ever heard a sound that resonated so deeply within you that you felt like it was you? If everything is vibration including sound, as we all know, then perhaps at our core we are sound as well as light.

I sometimes do a meditation with a CD of Tibetan Singing Bowls. These are brass (I believe) bowls of various sizes that a wooden or soft mallet is run around the rim that creates a building sound. The bowls are sometimes struck as well like a gong might be. I've found that various tones are felt in the various chakra's of the body, but there is one deep, resounding, sound in the whole CD (and it is only struck once) that I feel in the center of my body and it immediately pulls me down into deeper meditation. When I hear that tone, I become the "face on the waters" and to be quite honest with you, I don't know exactly what that means. That is just how I experience it. Is this my soul note? I don't know that either, but that sound feels more like me than anything else I have ever heard.

I hope your day is unfolding perfectly.

Let There be Dark - The Ceiling Fan Saga Continues - 6/25/07

Today I took a whole lot of clothes that I'd weeded out of my closet to a thrift store for donation. The shop's proceeds supports programs for persons with autism and mental retardation. The clothes were mostly business attire that will help other women still out there in the workplace. That makes me feel good 3 ways.

On the way home we stopped at a home goods store (Lowe's) to look for a fan for our master bedroom. We went back to Home Depot the other day where we bought the first one but they were out of the one we wanted. Anyway as we walked into this large store all the lights in the place went out and the emergency lights came on. I said to my husband "Is this an omen?" It turns out it was. We found a fan we wanted. It needed to be white to blend into the ceiling color, NO REMOTE CONTROLS, and be flush-mounted to the ceiling. Great. We took the fan up to customer service to arrange to get it installed. "Professional Installation" was number 13 on their list of customer services. Number 13, hmm I should have seen this coming. The girl behind the counter says "oh you have to go to the other side of the store to the *Installation Desk*. They'll set that up for you and then you bring the fan back here to pay for it." My husband and I both walk with canes, but the fan was in a cart, we could do this. So off we went to the other side of the store to the *Installation Desk* and the young man behind the counter said "Oh, we don't do that here. Take the fan to customer service." I said, "they just sent us here." So he gets on the phone and we say "never mind". We went to put the fan back and he chased after us, he had found where you go in the store to arrange for installation. Picture if you will an equilateral triangle (a really big one); yes we're going to the last point on that at yet another end of the store. My husband just wants to get this done, so we go down the aisle. The young man and another man are now trying to figure out how they set this up and proceed to tell us that the installers (a sub-contractor) will come out and give us an estimate and then come back a second time to install. I said "the place is already wired for the ceiling fan", but alas they still require 2 trips. I said, "I'm not waiting for the installer twice, no thank you." We left and this time we didn't put the fan back. We'll go back to Home Depot in a few days and maybe they'll have the fan back in stock and we can get the installer to come out once.

The ceiling fan we do have installed has resumed being a fan and no longer seems to be a communication tool between myself and the spirit realms. Alas, I kind of miss it.

Tomorrow its a clinic day at NIH for Warren, but no chemo. Friday he'll get his CT scan and then the following Monday they'll re-stage his disease and we'll see if we continue with this protocol or something else.

I learned recently that the husband of a woman I used to work with was just diagnosed with base of the tongue cancer which has spread to the lymph nodes in the neck. That's exactly how Warren's disease began. I want to call her this week and share our experiences with her to give her some hope, because where they are right now is a very frightening place. The standard treatment for this when it first presents is 9 weeks of daily radiation and weekly chemo. Very early into that your throat becomes almost too painful to swallow. He has gotten a feeding tube which Warren didn't the first time (but wished he had). The good news is that, that treatment put Warren in remission for a year and every extra day you get with this is a blessing.

Thank You - 6/25/07

Thanks to all of you who took the time yesterday to give me "the pep talk". I didn't think my post sounded that needy, but apparently you read between the lines and decided I needed a good talking to. I guess there just aren't that many intuitive bloggers out there who occasionally see dead people and have haunted house fans. I am more unique than I thought.

I am surrounded by a very diverse group of intelligent caring people and for that I am truly grateful.

Thank you.

Where Did That Come From? - 6/24/07

Last evening I was feeling a little let down by the whole blogging experience. I felt like I'd stuck my big foot in my mouth and managed to irritate or scare off a few people. I was thinking maybe I'd just step away from it for awhile, or go back behind the veil and not be so open. Then this morning I got some lovely comments from some friends and some readers so my world is sunny again. Perhaps it was just Uranus going retrograde.

From Astrology.com

"June 21 marks the changing of the seasons with the solstice, ushering in the latest in a series of retrograde movements. Indeed, as independent Uranus turns retrograde on June 23, this eccentric planet joins four other planets that are currently retrograde: Mercury, Jupiter, Neptune and Pluto. That’s a lot of review! Uranus entered Pisces for a seven-year sojourn on December 30, 2003, and once a year it goes retrograde or backtracks in the sign of the dream seeker to make sure that the changes you are instituting into your life are fully integrated.

You are making changes, aren’t you? This Uranus retrograde period will last until November 24 -- so if you are trying to hold on to the old simply out of habit, you’ll be feeling every bit of this upheaval for several months, in the form of muscle tension, restlessness or irritability. These are changing times for everybody. Don't worry that you don't know where everything is heading; there's no way to know right now. Review the changes you’ve made since March of this year to see if you are taking into account your needs for freedom and authenticity."

This whole venue seems to fascinate and frighten people at the same time. We want to be authentic, but we don't want to invite the bottom crawlers out there into our lives either. I thought I had let go of the need to "write for" my readers. I want to write primarily for myself, but perhaps that isn't really possible after all because I find myself caring for these new friends.

Today I'm going to work some more on cleaning out my closet (literally and figuratively) and just enjoy being able to spend a quiet day at home.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Poetic Moral Tale - 6/23/07

Forget the length of this poem, if you take the time to read it, you won't be disappointed.

Poem: "The Calf-Path" by Sam Walter Foss. Public Domain

The Calf-Path

One day through the primeval wood
A calf walked home as good calves should;
But made a trail all bent askew,
A crooked trail as all calves do.
Since then three hundred years have fled,
And I infer the calf is dead.
But still he left behind his trail,
And thereby hangs my moral tale.
The trail was taken up next day
By a lone dog that passed that way;
And then a wise bell—wether sheep
Pursued the trail o'er vale and steep,
And drew the flock behind him, too,
As good bell—wethers always do.
And from that day, o'er hill and glade,
Through those old woods a path was made.
And many men wound in and out,
And dodged and turned and bent about,
And uttered words of righteous wrath
Because 'twas such a crooked path;
But still they followed — do not laugh -
The first migrations of that calf,
And through this winding wood-way stalked
Because he wobbled when he walked.
This forest path became a lane
That bent and turned and turned again;
This crooked lane became a road,
Where many a poor horse with his load
Toiled on beneath the burning sun,
And traveled some three miles in one.
And thus a century and a half
They trod the footsteps of that calf.
The years passed on in swiftness fleet,
The road became a village street;
And this, before men were aware,
A city's crowded thoroughfare.
And soon the central street was this
Of a renowned metropolis;
And men two centuries and a half
Trod in the footsteps of that calf.
Each day a hundred thousand rout
Followed this zigzag calf about
And o'er his crooked journey went
The traffic of a continent.
A hundred thousand men were led
By one calf near three centuries dead.
They followed still his crooked way.
And lost one hundred years a day,
For thus such reverence is lent
To well-established precedent.
A moral lesson this might teach
Were I ordained and called to preach;
For men are prone to go it blind
Along the calf-paths of the mind,
And work away from sun to sun
To do what other men have done.
They follow in the beaten track,
And out and in, and forth and back,
And still their devious course pursue,
To keep the path that others do.
They keep the path a sacred groove,
Along which all their lives they move;
But how the wise old wood-gods laugh,
Who saw the first primeval calf.
Ah, many things this tale might teach —
But I am not ordained to preach.

Good Vibrations - 6/22/07

Last night at 11:00 p.m. EDT I was in my chair in the living room. I turned off the lights as I prefer to meditate in the dark, less distraction that way. I began to settle in and as I set the intention in my mind of joining Cat's memorial service in Oregon, the light came on in the ceiling fan and proceeded to run all the way up to its full brightness (its has a dimmer built in). I'm used to weird folks, but I must say that just about scared the tar out of me. The timing was impeccable. I settled myself back down and thought, OK, they want the lights on and I left them on. During the hour long meditation, I kept getting glimpses of people, there was a very thin older woman with curly gray hair, and another woman with a heart shaped face and blond hair. I saw part of a tree trunk with a hand resting on it and one glimpse of a incredible blue sky and trees. At midnight I stopped and went to bed. I was exhausted from the long day. I didn't get up this morning until 10:45 a.m.

During the night my husband got up to get a drink of water when he got back into bed. He said it suddenly got very bright in the living room and he went out there and the fan light was on at full brightness again. It was 3:19 a.m. EDT.

The first night we had the fan in. I watching TV after Warren had gone to bed and the ceiling fan light went out. I thought that perhaps the light was on a timer. So I turned it back on and noted the time so I could figure out how long it took to time out. A few minutes later it turned off again, then the light came back on again and the fan started up. This was with no one touching the remote.

Now I know the more pragmatic of you (like my engineer husband) will say that this was either caused by an electrical surge, or someone in the building has a fan set on the same frequency. In my world, I know that spirits can affect electrical fields very easily. Heck, I'm not even sure if its not me affecting the fan. I think it only went on for him last night to mark that particular time as being significant somewhere, without having to wake me up to take note of it. And of course you know that I think its Cat's way of saying hello.

It was an interesting full day. In the morning I had some body work done; specifically cranial sacral work. It consists of subtle manipulation of the bones in the head and face, and the spine. Apparently the flow of the cerebrospinal fluid is like a second pulse in the body that can become restricted and cause problems in the body. This is my very limited understanding of this so bear with me as I learn more about it. Its very relaxing. I noticed that the therapist had a drum next to her chair so I asked her what the drum was for. She said sometimes vibration is called for in a session and the drumming for her was like prayer. She did drum over me on the table at the end of the session from my feet up to my head. Its amazing how much the vibration from the drum can be felt in the energy field and the body. I thought how interesting that that day of all days (Cat's birthday, memorial service, summer solstice) that I get introduced to drumming for the first time.

Immediately after that appointment I had another appointment there with my nutritionist. I probably wouldn't schedule the two together again, because its too much energy work in one day I think. The nutritionist usually does energy work on me too after we talk about other things (like food). Here's where it gets weird again. While she was doing energy work on me, I suddenly realized that there was someone else in my body with me. I was fully conscious but there was the sensation of a physical presence with me, an older man with a full, white beard. As soon as I articulated that to Catherine I felt this swooning sensation like the energy was leaving through the top of my head. I told her I thought I'd reached a saturation point for the day so we ended there.

The only "normal" part of my day happened after that. I went to where I used to work to attend the retirement party for a woman I used to work with. That was fun and I got to catch up with a lot of friends. The dinner was good too. Steamship round of beef, yummy!

I think I've captured most of the events of yesterday. Accept what you can of my experience and let the rest go. I write these things as much for myself as for you dear readers. I wish to remember everything.

Happy Birthday Cat - 6/21/07

Cat’s family and friends are holding a memorial service for her today, June 21^st at 8:00 p.m. PDT. It will be held at the Octopus Tree in Cape Meares Park near Tillamook, Oregon. Cat had mentioned this place in one of her posts. Today would have been Cat’s 65th birthday and her daughter feels that is a good time to close the circle of her life.

I think it would be nice if her 360 family would mark that time by saying a prayer or a good-bye to Cat or by meditation so that we can close out our circle of energy with her as well. We would be joining our energies with that of her family and friends to make it a powerful memorial to her.

I plan on going into meditation beginning at 11:00 p.m. EDT which would be the same time on the West Coast. I suggest that you join in at the equivalent time in your own time zone if you wish to participate.

If that time does not work for you, Skylark will be doing a meditation at the time of the Summer Solstice (11:07 a.m. PDT) and she says you are welcome to join in that. The solstice was important to Cat as well.

If you wish to post any thing you experience during that time, or post any last messages to her, you may do so here. Remember her blog will be closed the last week in June as well.

Please pass this message along to anyone you know who loved Cat as we did.

Air! - 6/20/07

Art by Vladyana Krykorka in the story "Celebrate the Seasons: Fall" by Allen Morgan

This morning the electrician came to install the ceiling fan in the living room. He arrived about 8:30 a.m. and they told us it would be between 9:00-11:00 a.m. He did a good job and was done fairly quickly, so now the air is moving even when the a/c isn't running. My husband keeps the temperature on 78 and that is fine except for when the inside temperature will hover on 77.9 for 3 hours at a time and the a/c doesn't click on. I can't stand it when the air isn't moving. I'm sure that I am defective in some way, but I want what I want. Unfortunately now husband is finding it too cold to sit in the living room while the fan is running. He likes hot weather, I like cool weather. I'm wondering if I get a fan in the bedroom whether that will be too much air on him as well. We can always throw another blanket on him I guess.

I'm going to start cleaning out my closet in the master bedroom today and get rid of things I no longer wear. That will be my big project for the rest of my free time this week. Plus I'll have to get groceries this afternoon and get my hair cut.

Tomorrow I have two appointments. One late morning the other early afternoon and then a retirement party in the late afternoon/evening. I'll be gone from the house from about 10:00 a.m. until sometime in the early evening. Then of course at 11:00 p.m. I'll meditate to coincide with Cat's memorial service on the West Coast. A busy day.

Enjoy your day. Tomorrow I will re-post the information on Cat's Memorial as a reminder.

Thrown a Curve Ball - 6/18/2007

We've been thrown a curve ball this morning that we didn't see coming. My daughter has been working at a private school as an office manager for the last few years. The person she works for is volatile, a typical ADHD personality. This morning she fired my daughter for paying an employee 13 hours of vacation time she had left (and had been saving to use on maternity leave). She swears she told my daughter not to do this when obviously if she'd told her not to, she wouldn't have done it. This behavior is bizarre as two of the admin people are out on maternity leave at the moment and two others are on month long vacations, and Jen was holding down the fort by herself. Jen is the only one there who knows how to run payroll so I'm not sure what they are going to do on Friday. I suspect no one will get paid.

My daughter is a single mother of a handicapped child. So she doesn't have a husband to fall back on. Luckily we're around to pitch in.

I'm hoping and praying that something better will come from this. I know she'll find another job soon and with school summer vacation almost upon us (Wednesday), she won't have to worry about where Megan will be after school (she'll be with us).

So please add your prayers to ours to wish something better to come along for Jen, and soon. Thanks.

My Father Myself - 6/17/07

Today's picture is (left to right) my Dad, his Father and his Grandfather; my paternal line. It was probably taken in 1945. All three are gone now. If I ever met my Great Grandfather I don't remember. He died when I was in kindergarten. I remember that because I remember telling my classmates that he had been shot by Indians with arrows. I have no idea where that idea came from. He was a very successful financier and entrepreneur in his day. At various times in his life he owned and ran an photography studio, owned a coal mine, was a banker and dabbled in real estate. My Dad lived with his Grandparents for awhile in High School and was being groomed by them to go on to medical school. When Dad's Grandmother became ill and died, he had to move back to the farm with his Mom and Dad and finished his senior year in Gettysburg. After High School Dad started college (pre-med) at Gettysburg College but when World War II broke out at the end of 1941 he left school and enlisted in the Marine Corps. He never went back to college, life took him elsewhere.

My Grandfather was a farmer. He'd been to college and served in World War I in France. He didn't inherit his Father's business sense, in fact I think that Great Grandfather probably set him up with the farm. He worked the land much like his Grandfathers had done.

My Dad was a wonderful Father. He ended up being an airline mechanic. He worked hard all his life for his family. He expected a lot from us, was strict but not abusive. He loved us. He taught us to work hard, to care for our families, and to be judicious with our money. In his later years as the muscular dystrophy claimed more and more of his body, he taught us to not feel sorry for ourselves, to keep fighting your obstacles and to have a sunny outlook on life. I used to tease him that our family motto was "Anything worth doing, is worth doing the hard way."

He is a tough act to follow. I guess what I'm trying to say is that none of us exist in a vacuum. We have developed into who we are based on our own inherent natures and on the guidance we've either received or been denied. Experience has shaped us and I'm inclined to think its who we were supposed to be all along.

Time - 6/16/07

I can't believe it, but today is the last chemo day in this 2 week cycle. Where does time go? We'll get three weeks off this time (except for the weekly clinic visit and the CT scan on the 29th of course....wouldn't want to go "cold turkey".) Warren has already decided that on the way home this afternoon he wants to stop at the Coldstone Creamery again for a celebratory ice cream dinner! Perhaps I'll remember to bring my camera and post a picture of those particular culinary delights, or would that be cruel and unusual punishment?

Where does time go? Do you ever get the sense that time is not what we think it is, that its not linear and fixed and unspooling off some big time wheel ahead of us? Every now and then if I loosen my focus on it, it begins to feel as if I am standing still and instead of me moving toward the future events in my life, they are moving towards me. I am fixed in space in some ever present now. If you really want to mess with your mind, I want you to imagine that all time (past, present and future) exists now and is all happening simultaneously. Baby you, you and old you are there experiencing what you have, are and will experience. Let's add an additional layer to this, if all of your experience exists simultaneously in the now, wouldn't also all time periods be existing now as well. Its 2007 as well as 1777 or 2347. At some level I believe that this is true, but I'll be damned if I can wrap my mind totally around the concept. I guess to make it work we'd have to throw in the concept of different dimensions of existence too wouldn't we?

Have you ever had any odd experiences around time? Missing time? Time expanding and contracting? Anything else? I'd be interested in hearing about them. I'll give you an example. Once when I was working, I went in on a Saturday because I was extremely busy and had about 8 hours of work that had to be done by Monday morning. The trouble was, with my other obligations for that weekend I only had about 4 hours to put into it. I decided when I went into the office not to focus on lack of time but just to relax and assume that I had all the time I needed. I still don't understand exactly what transpired. The work I had to do didn't suddenly shrink or disappear, but not only did I get it all done, I finished in under the 4 hours time. Time seemed to slow way down for me that day.

Cat&#39;s Memorial Service - 6/14/07

Cat’s family and friends are holding a memorial service for her on June 21^st at 8:00 p.m. PDT. It will be held at the Octopus Tree in Cape Meares Park near Tillamook, Oregon. Cat had mentioned this place in one of her posts. That date and time would have been Cat’s 65th birthday and her daughter feels that is a good time to close the circle of her life.

I think it would be nice if her 360 family would mark that time by saying a prayer or a good-bye to Cat or by meditation so that we can close out our circle of energy with her as well. We would be joining our energies with that of her family and friends to make it a powerful memorial to her.

I plan on going into meditation beginning at 11:00 p.m. EDT which would be the same time on the West Coast. I suggest that you join in at the equivalent time in your own time zone if you wish to participate.

If that time does not work for you, Skylark will be doing a meditation at the time of the Summer Solstice (11:07 a.m. PDT) and she says you are welcome to join in that. The solstice was important to Cat as well.

If you wish to post any thing you experience during that time, or post any last messages to her, you may do so here. Remember her blog will be closed on June 21^st as well.

Please pass this message along to anyone you know who loved Cat as we did.

I will repost this on June 21st as a reminder.

What&#39;s Your Sign? - 6/13/07

Today is my niece Emily's 12th birthday (daughter of baby brother of yesterday's birthday note). Yes we have three family birthdays in one week. My Mom on the 10th, Brother the 12th and his daughter's the 13th. All of those Gemini's flitting around at one gathering can be intense. We also have three gregarious Sagittariuses (December birthdays) to really get the BS flying. It sometimes feels like a three-ring circus when we all get together, especially to the Scorpio in the group (me) who prefers to sit in the shadows but still remain the center of attention (we're complex). We do have a few outliers in other signs to anchor us; Capricorn, Taurus, 2 Cancers, and Virgo.

Off to the hospital for Day 2, Cycle 2.

So "What's your sign?"

On the Road Again - 6/12/07

We start the second week of chemo in this series today and probably won't be home until about 7:00 p.m. this evening. I have to go get ready and pack my lunch.

Happy Birthday to my Baby Brother who turns 53 today.

...."On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again..."

You'all have a nice day now ya hear?

Letting Go...Again - 6/11/07

Hydrangeas at the hospital

Last night I was doing some searching on the web for possible mountain retreats that we could go to this summer during chemo breaks. The mountains always call to me in the summer months. Our family used to camp in the mountains of Pennsylvania when I was a girl. It was always a state park type scenario, not wilderness. I don't think my Mom could have handled wilderness. We would camp at the seashore too. My searching took me to a page on the Cowan's Gap State Park where we used to camp because I knew they had cabins that could be rented. Looking at the details for the cabins, it became blindingly apparent to me that this is something we can no longer do. The cabins have no indoor plumbing you have to go to a "centrally located" bath house with flushing toilets. There are 2 bunk beds in each cabin. I don't think that's going to work either. Lastly, I know Warren isn't going to have the energy to travel this summer anyway even to stay at an inn. It appears we've waited too long to do this thing. So last night in front of this computer screen another dream came up against our reality. I had to let it go. It wasn't until I actively thought about doing it that I allowed myself to understand that it was no longer possible and to feel the grief of yet another loss. Grief comes in all kinds of packages and finds you when you least expect it.

So this morning I am weepy and will try to keep it from my loving husband, at least until he reads this post.

Today is a busy day of getting our groceries and then getting my Mother's. I'll be on the run until this evening. Being busy is insulation against my feelings but it is also a necessity some days.

Today let the sunshine find its way into my darkness corners and show me the way back to gratitude.

Happy 83rd Birthday Mom - 6/10/2007

She looks pretty good for 83 doesn't she? Love you Momma.

Perception - 6/8/07

"Winter Raven" by Wendy C. Thompson

Like Raven in the picture, do you see yourself in a cold, austere place with the golden fruits of summer just out of your reach? If that is what you see, turn around and look at the beauty of the snow on the trees and the full moon hanging low in the sky. Sometimes that's all it takes to change the way you are feeling about your life. Simply turn around; shift your perspective. You might be surprised what the new view has to show.

Energy follows thought. If you find a way to think about your life the way you want it to be, the universe will bend over backwards to provide it for you. What you think and what you feel equates directly to what you experience.

*Thanks Rose for the inspiration from yesterday.