Her Majesty - 5/8/07

Warren and I were taking bets yesterday on what color the new chemo would be. The last one (17-demag) was the color of a fine grape kool-aid. I bet that it would be acid-green, he bet orange but we were both wrong. This one (FdCyd) is clear. For unknown reasons he did not start at 9:00 this morning. It was 11:35 before they began. The infusion was just finishing when I arrived at the hospital at 2:30 this afternoon. Warren said he felt fine, no problems, except the peripheral IV that was put in yesterday had quit working already and they had to have a regular IV put in his other arm for the research blood draws. I thought that he looked worn out by the time I left at 7:00, but he said he felt fine. The doctor he saw this afternoon who is leading the study said he could come home on Saturday after chemo.

The Queen of England visited the Goddard Space Flight Center today. That is the place I worked for over 27 years. She was in my building too. In my next life, I want to be a queen (hmm, perhaps I should be more specific before I send that intention out into the universe...let me rephrase - I wish to be a female monarch of a stable, prosperous country). Apparently its good for the complexion. She looks pretty good for 80 don't you think. The photo was taken by a woman I used to work with.

My other friend, Barbara, is still hanging on. They've had to increase her pain medication. I hope she will soon be out of all that. Its my opinion that death is not the worse thing that can happen to you.

My muscles were very painful today, especially my back. I guess it was stress from yesterday and not giving them any fuel to work with for 12 hours. I'm still working from the old mind set that I know does not work...and that is that I can push through anything just on the strength of my will. I can do that too, just not for long. I have built some resilience back up but I can't even fool myself into thinking that is anything more than a thin layer. Today I slept a little later. I didn't get around to eating breakfast until noon, so I still only had two meals, but at least they were closer together than yesterday.

I should get to bed its after midnight. Sleep well.....oh, and before I forget, did you know that HOH means hard of hearing at the hospital? My poor baby has that sign hanging over his bed. So I asked him if he had not been responding to the nurses, but I don't think he heard me.

(p.s. Sorry Warren, I couldn't resist.)