"In the middle of the journey of my life I came to find myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost." Dante Alighieri
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
At 10 Months - 3/21/09
I've spent a lot of time crying over the last week or so. Strength erodes over time, or is it that I've healed enough now to begin to feel again? Your guess is as good as mine. I suspect its just part of the process.
I don't think strength erodes over time, but I think there comes a fresh realization every so often that this is for real, it is not going back to how it was. I send comfort and hope you can feel it.
Ms Cheryl yes I think you have healed enough to feel again. The grief process is one that can be baffling no doubt...I can remember have moments and still having moments where I have felt guilty that I was still living...guilty over eating something that my parents liked especially at times made me feel awful....until I realized that was the natural progression of life we are born then we pass on...so the next generation takes our place. I tell my children now to remember me whenever they hear a favorite song or a favorite bird that I liked...but not to feel guilty after I am gone...to celebrate my life in whatever way they feel comfortable with...but in time it all does pass....and all we remember is a life well lived...*hugs*
We have this custom where every year, near or on the date of passing, our family would make a point to get together and invite the spirit of the person to share a meal with us. I use to think it silly till I realized its a way for all of us to see how part of that person lived on.
:( Cheryl, I'm sorry :( you've probably heard that so many times you're thinking "yeah yeah, everyone's sorry..." . I can't know the pain you're in but you should know I think you're one of the strongest, coolest... wisest people I've ever met in my life. ((hugs))
Cor that is a good custom to have. I used to set an empty place at the table for those who had passed on. I called it the ancestor's place. These days there is no room for empty places when the family gathers, but inviting them into the gathering is a good idea. Thank you.
Kat, I know that when you say you're sorry that you genuinely are. Thank you for caring.
I believe you are healing still. Sounds like you finally let that facad down to allow yourself a few tears. When our loved ones are sick before they move on we except it as a relief, that they are no longer in pain. Our tears at that time are those of relief as mush as morning, it is not until much later the longing and missing tears come.
Welcome the tears they are healing tears that help us move on in our process of life and living. Many blessing to you, my friend.
Cheryl,I am always grateful for the memories that your sparse and pithy comments on the process of your loss evoke in me. You are a special human being. Thanks.
Hereticbard found the dictionary. The first explanation for the word pith is full of vigor. You can have an argument with out substance or in other words with out pith. I think words are cool. Thanks Cheryl
I don't think that strength erodes over time, I think the necessary numbness starts to wear off. I know exactly what you mean.
You are a strong person, well grounded and in touch with your path in life. Doesn't mean that it's easy, right? You are lucky to have your family and friends around you, even if you do feel alone. I think you are seeing cracks in the shell of mid-line numbness and it's not unreasonable to acknowledge that the same way you can feel the happiness in your world, that now you will also feel the sadness as well.
I learned this at an early age because my dad died when I was twelve years old. If I had any delusions of a fairy tale life they died with my father. We all learn lessons and I learned to appreciate my loved ones more.
It is the process of moving forward...no you will begin to heal. I am so sorry I have not been around but I hope you know that you can call me anytime you need or want to...I love you dearly!
I am hoping for a time when we will all be together always! Maybe I am dreaming, but I sense this is where we are heading in humanity. Your poem/quote from Rumi says this in a way and I think it is true. Love and Peace to you Cheryl and I agree with what Sallyz555 said; even though I may have not known you long I feel that you are very special, indeed and I am glad you have such a loving family to help you through this time:)
.JPG)
I don't think strength erodes over time, but I think there comes a fresh realization every so often that this is for real, it is not going back to how it was. I send comfort and hope you can feel it.
ReplyDeleteMs Cheryl yes I think you have healed enough to feel again. The grief process is one that can be baffling no doubt...I can remember have moments and still having moments where I have felt guilty that I was still living...guilty over eating something that my parents liked especially at times made me feel awful....until I realized that was the natural progression of life we are born then we pass on...so the next generation takes our place. I tell my children now to remember me whenever they hear a favorite song or a favorite bird that I liked...but not to feel guilty after I am gone...to celebrate my life in whatever way they feel comfortable with...but in time it all does pass....and all we remember is a life well lived...*hugs*
ReplyDeleteWe have this custom where every year, near or on the date of passing, our family would make a point to get together and invite the spirit of the person to share a meal with us. I use to think it silly till I realized its a way for all of us to see how part of that person lived on.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well =)
:( Cheryl, I'm sorry :( you've probably heard that so many times you're thinking "yeah yeah, everyone's sorry..." . I can't know the pain you're in but you should know I think you're one of the strongest, coolest... wisest people I've ever met in my life. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteBennett thank you I can feel it.
ReplyDeleteTonij good advice. Thanks
Cor that is a good custom to have. I used to set an empty place at the table for those who had passed on. I called it the ancestor's place. These days there is no room for empty places when the family gathers, but inviting them into the gathering is a good idea. Thank you.
Kat, I know that when you say you're sorry that you genuinely are. Thank you for caring.
What an awesome custom. Thanks for sharing that.
ReplyDeleteI believe you are healing still. Sounds like you finally let that facad down to allow yourself a few tears. When our loved ones are sick before they move on we except it as a relief, that they are no longer in pain. Our tears at that time are those of relief as mush as morning, it is not until much later the longing and missing tears come.
ReplyDeleteWelcome the tears they are healing tears that help us move on in our process of life and living. Many blessing to you, my friend.
Thank you Nym.
ReplyDeleteCheryl,I am always grateful for the memories that your sparse and pithy comments on the process of your loss evoke in me.
ReplyDeleteYou are a special human being.
Thanks.
Thank you Sally. All I have is "sparse and pithy" at the moment but I'm glad that my words spoke to you.
ReplyDeleteWhere's our dictionary when I need one. What does pithy mean?
ReplyDeleteEvery one mourns in their own way so it is not wrong to cry now.
I wish you the best.
I think it means in this case having substance. Thanks Erika.
ReplyDeleteHereticbard found the dictionary.
ReplyDeleteThe first explanation for the word pith is full of vigor. You can have an argument with out substance or in other words with out pith.
I think words are cool.
Thanks Cheryl
I don't think that strength erodes over time, I think the necessary numbness starts to wear off. I know exactly what you mean.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong person, well grounded and in touch with your path in life. Doesn't mean that it's easy, right? You are lucky to have your family and friends around you, even if you do feel alone. I think you are seeing cracks in the shell of mid-line numbness and it's not unreasonable to acknowledge that the same way you can feel the happiness in your world, that now you will also feel the sadness as well.
I learned this at an early age because my dad died when I was twelve years old.
ReplyDeleteIf I had any delusions of a fairy tale life they died with my father.
We all learn lessons and I learned to appreciate my loved ones more.
It is the process of moving forward...no you will begin to heal. I am so sorry I have not been around but I hope you know that you can call me anytime you need or want to...I love you dearly!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jen. I love you too.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping for a time when we will all be together always! Maybe I am dreaming, but I sense this is where we are heading in humanity. Your poem/quote from Rumi says this in a way and I think it is true.
ReplyDeleteLove and Peace to you Cheryl and I agree with what Sallyz555 said; even though I may have not known you long I feel that you are very special, indeed and I am glad you have such a loving family to help you through this time:)
Thanks Ingrid.
ReplyDeleteIt is my pleasure, and you are very welcome:)
ReplyDeletehug.
ReplyDelete