Today is the 3-month anniversary of Warren’s passing. I had hoped I’d have reached a place of acceptance by now, but it is a tenuous cease-fire at best. Some days are fine, some are just really sad. I try to keep busy, but there isn’t always enough to fill the days.
My Granddaughter goes back to school on Monday so I’ll have more time on my hands and I won’t be responsible for anyone else’s well being. I may bottom out which may be a good thing. There is no place to go but up from the bottom of your sorrow is there? Please don’t feel sorry for me. This is exactly where I should be at this point in time, exactly where I need to be. There is no quick fix available; grief must be endured until it fades with time. In truth I don’t want it to fade away too quickly as that would devalue what has been lost.
Grief is one of the fundamental truths of the universe. Because we can love, we can mourn the loss of it. It can break us, change us, but it always transforms our lives into something different and hopefully stronger. Stronger for having survived it; stronger for being able to say where do I go from here? So you see I am moving forward. I am laying the ground work for this new life of mine. I have friends and family that care about me; I’m not alone in the world. I have everything I require to go on and so I shall.
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I sure had a hard time posting this morning. It kept telling me it didn't accept Java script (which I think Multiply was adding in by the way). Oh well.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you Cheryl. You have an amazing ability to see things clearly and to see how it can promote forward growth. Blessings to you my friend....
ReplyDeletethanx for sharing this during tough times. take care and god bless. hugs.
ReplyDeletei hate when that happens...even when its just text. i dont know why that is.
ReplyDeleteI can say without reservation that I do know what your enduring. I look back at my time of mourning and the different stages I went through. It is different for each of us but the one thing that is the same...we do find a way to conquer the pain and start living again.
ReplyDeleteI know one of the hardest things for me was knowing that life was moving forward without Danny, our routine of daily life had changed because he was no longer here and it was very hard to recreate my own routine.
You know I am here for you anytime you just need an ear or shoulder, I remember so well all of the emotions and pain that I went through and the stages of each one.
I will be thinking about you...
You've have said it all Dear Lady. I know where you are coming from because I've been there also. Mourning was hard when my grandfather passed away in 1975, then my grandmother on Easter 1985, my most favorite cousin, the day after his 22nd birthday, 1986 and another cousin 6 months later. Then my oldest and dearest brother passed at the age of 33 in 1992. His was the hardest and I still grieve from time to time but it's gotten easier each time I go to the cemetary and weed the headstone. I feel his presence once in a while, that is how close we were. Grief is natural, you are in our prayers and hugzzz to you!
ReplyDeleteI scarcely know what to say. I have tremendous faith in your strength and you have taught me so much. I have always wanted life's steps to be destinations I can cross off my list. They seem to be more processes that wax and wane. Or journeys. Some that I would rather not take.
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Thank you Cheryl.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your kind words. You help me smile everyday knowing that you are always here. Bless you all.
ReplyDeleteThe grief stinks and is difficult, but you are correct that the love is worth it all.
ReplyDeleteI kinda like pinto beans these days..
ReplyDeleteBe well =)
There's plenty of chores around here if you like to keep busy
ReplyDeleteCor, good beans are good for you!
ReplyDeleteIggy, want me to walk the dogs?
Do you know how to BBQ the dogs?
ReplyDeleteUh, sorry no, not Sushi & Brownie type dogs.
ReplyDeleteBBQ dogs? I think I have missed something crucial here.
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