Things were going pretty good here until a week or so ago. I was cleaning out the hall closet and found Warren's running shoes. I decided that no one would really want someone else's stinky old running shoes so I threw them out. That small action opened up the flood gates again. Those shoes were such a reminder of him as a strong, healthy man. The last time he wore them was walking on the beach in Florida in April 2007. That was also the last time he really felt well.
Grief is such damn hard work. Just when you think you're making a little progress, something pulls the rug out from underneath your feet again. There is still a pair of his shoes sitting the the foyer and his hat is on the hall tree. I don't know when I'll have strength enough to remove them. They allow me to pretend at some level that things are normal. But I must confess to you that I'm having a hard time coming to terms with this new normal.
.JPG)
It's my turn to return the love when you need it. Big hugs.
ReplyDeletewhy did you throw them out for? You could Post them and I can add them to Iggy's Holy Shoes Club
ReplyDeleteI definitely know that grief is hard work. Know you're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteNew normals suck and there is no way around it. My heart is with you. My mom-in-law went to Hospice yesterday, another new normal.
ReplyDeleteYep
ReplyDeleteAnd yours
throws me back
into my own
Hugs!
I wish that I could say something to help you out. Instead we will sit with our virtual cups of coffee while you share your memories and I listen. <\_/
ReplyDeleteThanks to all of you for your kindness.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss I still feel like this with my parents especially my mother. I still have her things with me not all but some...when I moved out of my old homestead...I kept a lot of her things and they moved with me. When I moved last March and I was cleaning out things in the move I found somethings that I thought that it was time to part with and I did...but still not everything. I still have somethings still and I'm sure when I'm ready to move again...I'll find time to get rid of somethings then. I realize now it's not what they leave behind materially...it's the love that they left behind...I miss I just miss them period
ReplyDeleteToni, you're right it is the love and the memories that are the most important to keep.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish I had more of my fathers stuff but my mom gave most of his things away. You are very brave. Good luck.
ReplyDelete