Warren fell twice over the weekend. The first time, he was in the process of getting up from his chair when he got dizzy and grabbed the swivel/recliner for support. The swivel/recliner proceeded to both swivel and recline and then so did he. He landed on his rump but didn't hurt himself and was able to get up off the floor with a little help from me. I heard him fall and came running out of the bedroom half dressed. Now that must have been a sight, but luckily no one else was there to see it. On Sunday morning, he'd been in his office and left the phone off the hook. As I'm going in there to fix the phone (which by now is beeping wildly), he decides he's going in there too and gets up too fast and over he goes. This time he hit his forehead on the carpet and has lovely carpet burns across about a 4 inch wide area. Its got a big bandage on it for now. Last night he got dizzy getting up from the dinner table but I was able to get a chair under him before he went down. He's starting to look a little worse for wear. His foot is still black and blue from the first fall; although the bruising is starting to dissipate a little. He has sores on the inside of both knees from an allergic reaction to aloe vera cream which have to be kept bandaged and now he has the big bandaid on his head.
I now am back to walking with him everywhere again. That means getting up several times during the night too to take him to the bathroom. He told me yesterday that he just wanted "this" to be over with. I asked him what he was waiting for, but he said he didn't know. I sure hope its not that economic incentive check from the Government.
I am learning so much through all this. I am learning that patience isn't just about enduring; patience is about honoring the life and process of another person. I'm learning practical skills like wound care and how to give a suppository. I'm learning how to pray from my heart.
The other morning I was talking to God giving him my "poor me" speech about how I didn't know how much more of this I could take. A little later when I went to check my email, I saw my daily horoscope one. The title of that email said "Things will change when the time is right." Answers can come from anywhere if you are open to receiving them.
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Oh Cheryl,....we are walking much the same path these days. My heart stands with you....
ReplyDeleteIts sad that we have to so often learn such things from sorrow and struggle, isn't it. Don't you wish there were a "wisdom pill" we could take?
ReplyDeleteTess (and to be honest, I) often wonder... "OK God, what ever you're trying to teach us... don't you think we've learned it by now?! If not... could you at least send us a tutor or something?!"
What I hear you saying is that patience = acceptance. Is that correct? I'll hold off any other commentary on that point until you confirm or deny that.
On "how much more of this can I take" ... we often think of 1st Corinthians 10:13
13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
And our response is often... "God, I wish you didn't have such a high opinion of us as to think that we are strong enough to bear this!"
On the falling and fainting, you probably know, but since its at the tip of my mind- so to speak- the two most common causes for this are problems in the balance center of the inner ear, or orthostatic hypotension- which means you have a sudden loss in blood pressure when changing body position from lying or sitting to standing. Tess has had that a lot. One time when she was in the hospital, she got up from the...er...facilities too quickly and came out the door doing a spin. Fortunately I'd just walked in, and I'd have enough training to know that stopping the fall wasn't the point and was probably not possible, what was needed was to protect the head from a blow first and foremost, so I did a diving baseball style catch and prevented a likely concussion.
Your home health aid should be able to set you up with- if he/she hasn't already- a "gait belt." This makes it easier for you to help him walk, change position, etc. It also makes it easier for you to catch him when he stumbles.
That's enough med talk for now... if you have other questions about how to care for someone with O.H., the proper body mechanics for changing their position, what to when he falls, you know I'm at your disposal luv!
Through this all you have kept your wonderful Cheryl sense of humor. I have learned so much from you.
ReplyDeleteOh Cheryl, life's lessons are not always easy and I can't imagine a more difficult one than this. And yet as wives/companions we know we will all face it at some point. You are doing a great job and Warren is so lucky to have you on his team. But every now and then you may just need to get in the car and drive and scream.
ReplyDeleteScreaming is good. My wife uses a child's whack-a-mole game (seen played with by a child in one of my posts today.) Me... I like to break apart old furniture, or smash cheap dinnerware.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of how done, kinetic emoting can be very effective and beneficial!
Oh I wish I could just come over and have a cup of coffee with you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the driving and screaming. I think there's only so much acceptance one can take before you run the risk of losing your own sanity. I'm learning so much, myself, from your posts... I wish I could be there for a group screaming car ride or for a group cup of coffee.
ReplyDeleteEverybody now, get a good deep breath- draw down on your diaphragm so you use all your inspiratory reserve volume
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IF onlly we could!!! sigh...
ReplyDeleteGeez, you people sound stressed out. LOL
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind thoughts and words. I don't feel like screaming at the moment, that takes way more energy than I have. I would like to hibernate for about 3 months however. A nice long uninterrupted sleep would be good.
I second that [e]motion. I'm trying to just spend time with Tess and work on my "monach rug" but life has a way of keeping happening.
ReplyDeleteI know some of the challenges you face,and others, of course,I don't. But I do know and agree -"Things will change when the time is right." - is the essence of patience,and a very difficult thing to keep in mind.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you and Warren.
I was thinking of Cheryl and the others here such as yourself when I shot my most recent "Lake Michigan Zen" series of videos of the wind and waves at the lake. They're in a blog post, and also available for download or view under my video section.
ReplyDeleteJust in case you are checking Cheryl's blog to see what is going on, Warren had another fall so he has been admitted to an inpatient hospice care facility and I don't think Cheryl has computer access from there. Please keep her in your prayers, thoughts, and send her all the energy you can. They are making Warren as comfortable as possible and hopefully Cheryl will be able to get a little sleep as they get his medications under control..of course, if she can sleep on a pull out twin bed (or smaller), that will be a miracle.
ReplyDeleteDavid (her son) was going up tonight to visit her and tomorrow her daughter and granddaughter will be going by. Please just send her your love, she will be able to feel it. I will let you hear more as I know it. I'm just so thankful God brought me out to MD right now so I could at least be close enough to be here for her, as much as I can.
She really does appreciate all your love.