Women's Retreat Part 2 - 1/24/07

Entering the Silence

In yesterday's installment I wrote about the difficulties I had finding the retreat center. In retrospect the *being lost* seems allegorical. I realized at the beginning of this year that I didn't know who I was anymore. Most of the ways I used to define myself and my place in the world have ended or changed. I am reminded of the following quote from Dante Alighieri's "Divine Comedy" c. 1313.

Midway upon the journey of my life
I found myself in a dark wood,
where the right way was lost.

On Saturday, we opened the morning with stretching and some yoga. Next we did silent introductions where you stand in front of someone and look into their eyes and really see them and then they do the same for you. I must confess that I was never quite sure when I was seeing and when I was being seen, but I seemed to pick up a lot of information about the people that I met in that way. Later in the morning we did paired interviews. Each person in the pair had a turn to interview the other with the following two questions:

1. Describe a high point in your life history where you felt energized, happy and fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? What did you value about yourself? - For this question I chose the time when Warren and I first got together.

2. What are you feeling called to birth in your life now? - I talked about feeling called to do some sort of healing work, about the healing journey we've been on, using reiki and medical intuition. I want to explore possibilities and be open to what shows up in this area.

We then joined into groups of 6 and introduced the person we interviewed to the rest of the group. I found it difficult to listen to "my story" being told by someone else. I never did like being in the spot light (but oddly enough I do like being the center of attention...what's up with that?).

After lunch we had a silent period for 2 and 1/2 hours. We were encouraged to walk on the property, journal, or do any activity to help us focus inward. I took a walk outside. It was very cold and windy, but the land felt surprisingly quiet and peaceful. This retreat center is on over 200 acres of land that has belonged to the Church of the Savior for over 50 years. They do not have a central church, rather their congregants agree to participate in missions to help the poorest of the poor. This center is dedicated to the ravaged earth. The land has been prayed on for 50 years which is why it felt so good. The earth gave back the nourishment that it had received.

I've always been intrigued with the idea of a silent retreat. I did notice that about half way through it I began to get antsy and kept looking at my watch, but then I picked up my journal and was fine again. An interesting experience.

After dinner we did something called Trance Dancing. Tribal societies have used drumming and extended dancing to enter alternative states of consciousness for millenia. The idea was to close your eyes and dance for 45 minutes to very loud tribal music, to just allow your body to take over and move as it wants to. OK, so I couldn't stand and dance with my eyes closed for 5 minutes much less 45 minutes, so I was allowed to sit and move my body to the music. I can't say whether I entered an altered state or not. At one point my neck began to hurt and I saw in front of me a skull with attached spinal column. One of the vertebrae was sticking out a little in the neck so I reached up and pushed it back into place. Then my neck felt better. Weird huh?

And with that, Saturday ended and so does this blog. Tomorrow I'll give you Sunday and my journey back home. Every labyrinth spirals in and then spirals back out again.