Happy New Year - 1/1/2008

I wish you all a very happy, prosperous and healthy New Yeark.

This Says It All - 12/29/07

I don't have much to say these days.  Warren's condition is stable, but his pain is increasing.  We live day to day and managed to have a nice Christmas even knowing it was our last together.

From My House to Yours Merry Christmas - 12/25/07

Hospice Visit Day - 12/19/07

Wednesday is Hospice visit day. The nurse will be here at 12:30 to check on Warren and order the medications that we're starting to run low on. After that, I have a busy afternoon of shopping for groceries so I don't have to go again until AFTER Christmas, going to the bank, getting a hair cut and taking Warren to get his hair cut.

His condition seems to be stable at the moment which is a good thing. His pain is mostly under control and we don't see anything new that has cropped up in the last week. We've settled into a routine (well I've settled into a routine...which I've been avoiding ever since I retired) of going to bed early and getting up at 8:00 a.m. I really have to do this so that I can fix his breakfast around 8:30 and he can take his morning pain meds. We are just enjoying being together. This may be the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

A Laugh for Friday - 12/14/07

Somewhere  near Rochester  , New  York  , Ed set out to bag his buck at 5:30 a.m. By 11:30 a.m. , he was  exhausted and hungry--and still no buck. At 12 noon, the mighty hunter Ed guards the remains of his lunch while a passerby snaps  a quiet photo while trying not to startle the deer with a belly  laugh .



Shot  from the USS HONOLULU (Los  Angeles-class fast attack submarine) at the  Arctic  Circle ,  280 miles from the North Pole--is there anything that scares a polar  bear?



A definite entrepreneurial spirit




Consider yourself warned





Let's  get all bases covered .




Clearly,  you're not wanted on this  property!




And  who said politics is boring?  



My personal favorite . .  

 

With This Ring - 12/12/07

Today is our 26th wedding anniversary. This is the first year in awhile that we haven't spent it at NIH. One year Warren had a feeding tube removed, the next chemo all day. Yesterday we went out and he finally purchased the big TV he's been thinking about for years. We all assumed he would never buy it, but he surprised us all. It was delivered this morning and every time I look up and see it, I'm surprised by how big it is. Its a 46" LCD. I'm glad he didn't pick the 50" that I had my eye on. I think that would have just been too big. I think what finally made him buy was the fact that the old TV (16 years old) was starting to have problems with the sound and he didn't want me to have to deal with it later on. Hopefully he'll be able to enjoy the rest of the football season in HD.

Happy Anniversary Babe. You are the best husband in the world. I love you with all my heart.

Happy Birthday Dave - 12/10/07

Even though we celebrated yesterday, today is my son Dave's real birthday.  I usually use number candles on our family cakes but didn't have 2 threes so I had to improvise.  Of course now it looks like Dave turned 3,111.  Well he does fantasize about being a time lord (Dr. Who).

Dave and Warren:

Daughter Jen (spent the day painting her living room...just wants this to be over):

Granddaughter Megan (always up for cake and ice cream):

I'm the one wielding the camera so I'm not in any of the shots.  One would think I do that on purpose :-).

Looks Like Christmas

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas even though our snow has all melted away today.  You can see I have my tree up and the gifts for Warren and I are wrapped and ready.  The Santas are on the mantle.  The flash on the camera seems to have put some weird lines on the mirror.  That glass is beveled and very old so I suspect that's why the lines are wavy.

I didn't go to my Mom's today because they are iced in up there so I got to spend Saturday here.  I celebrated by taking a nap.  Other than that, I've done nothing today.

I've taken over dispensing Warren's many medications to him.  I purchased one of those am/pm pill holders that hold seven days worth of meds but soon realized that that didn't take care of the problem.  So I purchased 3 more individual 7-day pill dispensers.  No we have wake up pills, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime dispensers.  Its a complicated regimen.

He seems to be doing OK at the moment.  He sleeps some during the day and spends his time watching tv or playing on the computer.

Tomorrow my kids and granddaughter are coming over so we can celebrate my son Dave's birthday.  He'll turn 33 on Monday.  Its hard to believe that my baby will be 33.

We're taking one day at a time here.

Closing Doors - 12/4/07

Here it is December already. Its cold and windy here today and tomorrow we may get our first snow of the season. I don't have anyplace I have to be tomorrow other than here, so snow is fine with me. I might even bake some Christmas cookies.

Today we went to NIH for a checkup. Warren has gained 2-1/2 kilos since his last visit on Nov. 20th. I have always refused to learn the metric system, but I think that's around seven pounds. It appears to be fluid as the left side of his face appears puffy and he's had some swelling in the legs and ankles. His lungs are clear though. They told us they would continue to supply the medications that hospice won't cover (like his blood pressure and thyroid meds). Hospice is only allowed to cover the cancer-related drugs and those needed to control symptoms. Having NIH send us the others will be helpful as I won't have to go to our family physician in Greenbelt to get them. They can be mailed here. The NIH people were sad today too and said they will miss seeing him. Although we made an appointment for January 7th, it remains to be seen if we'll be able to do it or not.

Warren came to the same conclusion I had that he wasn't physically able to withstand the prep and the treatments for the cyber-knife radiation. Cyber knife wouldn't have offered a cure, only some management of symptoms and we will seek other remedies here for those now. We have closed the door on further treatments. We are entering into a holy space where a soul prepares to make its transition. I am trying to make this as gentle a passing as possible by surrounding him with love and support in the comfort of our home. It is part of our humanity to ease our love ones through in times of change.

Remember that each day is a precious gift, be mindful how you use it.

Hospice - 11/30/07

On Wednesday, the day that hospice called us to set up an appointment, Georgetown also called to set up an appointment for a PET scan. They have finally decided that they can treat Warren with the cyber-knife radiation. We met with hospice yesterday and today, the nurse who will be the one to see us most of the time is supposed to come by. We are officially under hospice care. We're still waiting for a call back from the Doctor at Georgetown. We did find out from hospice yesterday that Warren could be signed out of hospice temporarily to receive a treatment and then signed back in with no loss of benefit. The problem is that Warren's condition has deteriorated since the doctors at Georgetown saw him in October and I don't believe he is strong/well enough to even manage the stress of the PET scan. That would involve fasting for at least 4 hours (some PET's its 12) and he has pain meds that need to be taken with food. Another problem is that you have to lay flat for several hours and he would be in excruciating pain if he had to do that. They say they can anesthetize patients for that, but then you have a secondary problem that men (especially older men) get from anesthesia that causes the prostate to swell and then requires a cathatarization. If they'll still need 5 weeks to plot the treatment plan after the PET, who knows what his condition will be then, or if he'll even be here. I want him to turn down this option. I think the ship has sailed on this being able to help him and will only cause him more discomfort.

I feel so much better knowing that hospice is involved. I can call them 24/7 if there are problems or if he falls or has sudden outbreaks of pain. I don't have to call 911. They deliver the drugs he needs to us. They come to the house to check on him and arrange to have hospital beds or wheel chairs if needed. They assure me that he can stay here at home, no matter what happens as the disease progresses. I can get aides to help if his physical care is too much for me to manage (bathing, etc.) Because he has Medicare Part A there is no time limit in how long he can be in in-home hospice care. Hell, I think I want to put myself in hospice now too....of course I probably have to wait until I have Medicare.

I have to let Warren run his process for deciding about Georgetown. I've made my opinions known on the matter. I hope he tells them "no".

On to the more mundane; I've run 4 loads of laundry through the washer and it hasn't leaked again so I think I'm going to cancel my appointment with Sears. It could be it was an "out of balance" thing.

I took Mom's comforter to the dry cleaners yesterday and it will cost her another $37 to get it cleaned. Pretty soon she would have spent enough cleaning it to buy a new one. My brother is taking her to see the cardiac specialist this morning to see about a pace maker.

Have a lovely day on this last day of November 2007.

It Doesn't Take Much - 11/27/07

It doesn't take much to make me happy sometimes. Today when I went to pick up my Granddaughter from school the odometer in my car read 77,776 so I drove around the parking lot of the high school until the odometer ticked over that one extra mile so I could take a picture. I've been waiting for the all sevens.

I ended up having to cook Thanksgiving dinner because my Brother's family got their annual Thanksgiving bout of the flu. I had planned ahead for just such a contingency and had a 4 pound turkey breast in the freezer. My kids and my Granddaughter were here for dinner as was my Mom and we still had leftovers. It could be because I had other things to eat as well (big understatement there).

I took my Mom back home on Saturday and her cat had taken a dump on her down comforter again (twice while she was gone) and also peed on it too. (Note to self: I don't think I want a cat anymore.) The comforter had just come back from the dry cleaner the weekend before. Apparently when kitty gets angry at the humans that is her new avenue for venting her feelings. I had told my Mom to be sure to shut her bedroom door before she left. She pushed it closed, but didn't latch it. I so wanted to scream and bang my head against the wall but I didn't. So I spot cleaned the darn comforter and will haul it to the dry cleaners in the morning. I think the cat is upset because my sister-in-law has been gone every weekend for the last month helping to clean out her Mom's apartment. Her Mom just went into assisted living. Anyone know a Cat Whisperer who can tell this feline to CUT IT OUT?

I put the Christmas tree up over the weekend which is very early for me. I wanted to make sure Warren would be able to enjoy it plus it does cheer the place up with the lights.

The social worker at NIH called me today to tell me that she'd submitted the paperwork to hospice but they needed a referral from a Maryland licensed doctor (apparently the Federal doctors we've been seeing at NIH are licensed in different states) so she gave hospice the information for our outside ENT/surgeon. We just love him anyway. He is so caring. I called his office this afternoon to let him know that hospice would be calling him for a referral and he said he'd take care of it. I know he was disappointed to hear that we were at that stage now. The social worker told me we should have something in place by the end of the week and that hospice should call us tomorrow.

I haven't had much interest in writing in the blogs lately and I'm not sure how much of it I'll do in the short term.

As if there wasn't enough going on here, the washing machine leaked a little water when I used it over the weekend and when I called to get an appointment to have it fixed, the earliest they could give me is December 5th. Warren said I could buy a new washer and get it installed sooner (he knows I hate the one we have), but its only 4 years old and that would seem the ultimate in waste to have it hauled away. I think I will just use the machine (or try too) and keep the wet vac handy just in case the leak develops into a river.

My Mother just called. She'd been to the cardiologist yesterday to get a heart monitor which she wore for 24 hours. She'd been complaining that her heart had been skipping beats. She was saying last night when I talked to her that it hadn't skipped any while she had the monitor on. Apparently she was wrong. Her doctor just called back and said her heart had stopped 26 times in the time she had the monitor on for sometimes 3 seconds or more at a time. He said if she didn't feel those, then the times she does feel it must be bad. He wants her to consult a specialist ASAP to see about getting a pacemaker. She told me over Thanksgiving that maybe she was ready to go home too and I told her I would prefer it if she and Warren wouldn't both do it at the same time.

If I say uncle will it stop?

Happy Thanksgiving - 11/21/07

Have a happy day tomorrow however you celebrate it.  Here are a few cartoons I got from my siser-in-law today.  I had to share!

 

 

Solar Return - 11/20/07

Today marks the suns return to the exact place it was on the day I was born.  In other words, it’s my Birthday.  I’m glad we celebrated on Sunday because today was not one of my happiest Birthday’s.  We had an appointment at NIH this morning so that Warren could have his mediport flushed and get his prescriptions refilled.  They were upset that we haven’t heard anything back from Georgetown yet, but I told them I didn’t think Warren was strong enough anymore to go through that anyway.  We told them about the sharp pains he’s been having in his left leg and they thought that probably meant the tumor was progressing.  The sent him for x-rays on his legs to rule out a metastasis to the leg.  The doctor is going to call Georgetown himself tomorrow to see if he can get an answer.  We’re going back in 2 weeks to decide what the next steps should be.  We talked to the social worker about hospice and she is going to check it out for our county and try to set up an interview for us.  Apparently Warren could still participate in studies at NIH under hospice care because they aren’t considered treatments.  However, they don’t have anything available right now that wouldn’t make him sicker than he already is.  So the decision in early December will probably be that hospice is the best thing now.  I don’t want him to have a medical emergency and end up in the ER where they might do things to him that he wouldn’t want at the end of his life.  So we need a plan set up to handle what’s coming.  These are hard decisions to make, but they need to be made.  I can’t just sit and wait and then be ill prepared.  My goal is for him to be as comfortable as he can be, without measures being taken that would only prolong the dying process.

Leaking Windows - 11/19/07

I’ve spoken before about a leaky kitchen window in my home.  When we get a hard, driving rain from the East, it leaks across the header above the window, in fact there is a long crack in the drywall of the header and signs of water damage.  Yesterday we had a water test of our window.  The testing is being done to document structural problems in the community that the builder is being sued to repair.  I’m not sure the repairs will be done in my lifetime.  Once things get tied up with lawyers, well let’s just say it can take awhile.

 

For the first part of the test they put plastic over the outside of the window and directed a sprinkling system that produces a standard amount of water over a fixed amount of time at the sill level of our window.  Then they raised the cherry picker up to a level above our window for 20 minutes, still no leaks.  They then raised it up to the sill of the window on the 4^th floor for 20 minutes.  It didn’t leak there either.  Finally, they directed the water at a point above the window on the floor above us (the 4^th) and bingo, we had water leaking in like crazy.  We now know where the water is entering the building.  Then they proceeded to cut two holes in the drywall inside my kitchen below and above the window so they could see if there was water damage inside the walls.  I’m sure glad I hadn’t painted in there yet.

 

The next part of the test, they took the plastic down and sprayed the window itself to ensure that it didn’t leak there too, but I don’t think it did.

 

They were in and out working yesterday from 8:00 a.m. until after 2:00 p.m.  They were very nice, took their shoes off indoors and cleaned up after themselves.  The young man that did most of the work inside was just as sweet and cute as he could be and was a pleasure to talk to.

What if God Was One of Us? - 11/15/07

Friend Tom alluded in his blog today to the TV show Joan of Arcadia which I loved. That got me to thinking about the theme song. So here it is. "What if God Was One of Us?" by Joan Osbourne. Enjoy.

Lost - 11/13/07

Poem: “Lost,” by David Wagoner, from Collected Poems 1956-1976 (Indiana University Press).

Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

Color is Good - 11/9/07

 

Maxine Says:  Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.

My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors....

Fill your plate with bright colors...greens, yellows, reds, etc.

I went right home and ate an entire bowl of:

And sure enough, I felt better right away. Who knew eating right could be so easy?

The Importance of Living Your Life in Present Time - 11/8/07

You hear a lot of advice about living in the present and being in the now, but what does that really mean. According to Carolyn Myss (a well known teacher and medical intuitive), it means bringing back the pieces of your spirit that have left your body and continue to energize your past or your possible futures.

Let's say for purposes of this discussion that you have 100 units of your spirit that are available for your use in your everyday life. When your eyes first pop open in the morning and you start thinking about your day, watch what areas of your life you think about. Picture them as rooms and you are going down the hall turning the lights on or walking past the doors.

Do you think about the problem employee at work that you have to have a discussion with later? You are sending some of your spiritual units ahead to prepare for that meeting.

Let's also say you have to fly to Los Angeles later in the week and you're terrified of flying. Fear of flying will get lit up by your spirit.

Now throw in your bad childhood, relationships, that time you got fired unfairly and you can see where before you even leave the house in the morning, 50% of your spiritual energy could be focused outside of your body and not available for use in present time.

If you then run into traffic problems, irritable people, money problems, or not feeling well, or you're caring for a sick loved one. It could be that there isn't much of you left available for you.

This takes a real toll on your physical body and can manifest in illness if substantive change isn't made in time.

Of course some of this is unavoidable, but you can make a huge difference in how much energy you have available by letting what happened to you in the past go. Its over, you were a child and couldn't help you. Open your prison door and let yourself out. They can't hurt you in the present. You can't change what happened, you can forgive; or if you can't forgive, turn it over to God. If the trauma happened to you as an adult, you have the same power to turn it over. It happened to you, but it doesn't define who you are.

In my own life I find that if I stay in present time, I can find the simple pleasure in being here with my husband and enjoy our life together. If I allow my mind to energize our past too much, I spend the day crying. If I energize the future without him, the sadness overwhelms me. And so I say "I am right here, right now, in this house in this time. All is well."

It will take you time to build the practice of knowing where your spirit is in time and calling it back. Its not easy, but it will make dramatic changes in your life if you can become more aware. When you are aware of what you're doing to yourself, you have choices. You can choose to live.

Under the Weather - 11/6/07

I'm under the weather here.  I came down with what I thought was a cold yesterday morning, but by last evening I had chills and a slight fever.  Went to bed at 8:30 p.m. and slept for 14 hours.  Today I have a squeaky voice, a stuffed up head, but no fever yet.  Fun, fun, fun.

We've had several calls from Georgetown over the last few days, but things there are still uncertain.  I've surrendered to whatever process is going on.  If its meant to happen it will, if it isn't it won't.  Every now and then I have to come back to the realization that I'm not in charge of the whole world and its workings.  I know!  What a shock that must be for you all to read as well.

Now that I'm sick, I have permission to do nothing so that's what I'm doing.  Nothing.

On a lighter note, we went out for a short time yesterday morning because Warren wanted to get my birthday present (no, its not my birthday, but sometime this month).  He got me a Roomba which is a robotic vacuum cleaner.  I love this thing.  It does surprisingly well and the real beauty of it is that it goes under the beds and other furniture and I don't have to.  I've been talking about getting one for awhile but always worried that it would be a waste of money.  I'm here today to say it wasn't. 

 

I may be doing nothing, but my robot friend (seen above) is working its little battery off :-)

 

I Don't Want to Miss a Thing - 11/4/07

 

You'll have to forgive me I'm trying to embed in my memory the directions for embedding music in my posts. I like the sentiment in this one too, and NASA saves the world! Does it get any better than that?

A Little Night Music

The Autumn Cooking is Done - 11/2/07

Those of you who've been reading me for awhile may recall the debacle of the vegetable soup last winter; the 3 gallons of vegetable soup I made right before the big ice storm. There were only two of us here to eat it! A lot went in the freezer and we did our best to eat our vegetables, but it was a lot of soup. I vowed never to do that again, but as you know time softens memory. Its sort of like the pain of childbirth, you forget after awhile. Anyway, I'm making a long story even longer than it needs to be. Today I made 3 gallons of Minestrone, a nice Italian vegetable soup with beans and pasta. But was that enough for me? Oh no, I also made a pot of Butternut Squash soup and 3 loaves of Zucchini Bread. (I only made the squash soup because I bought the squash at the store this week and had to use it, and I only made the bread because I had a large zucchini leftover that wouldn't fit into the gigantic soup pot.) I think I don't have to cook anymore now for the rest of the year. I think I need a bigger freezer. I think I need an intervention.

I won't post this recipe unless someone needs soup for 30.

Is That Me? - 11/1/07

 

Picture is of me (on the left) and my friend Dorene when we had dinner a month ago.

Poem: "I.D. Photo" by Rachel Hadas, from The River of Forgetfulness. © David Robert Books, 2006. Reprinted with permission. (The Writer's Alamanac)

I.D. Photo

Since I can feel my radiant nature shine
Out of my face as unmistakably
As sunlight, it comes as a shock to see
The features that apparently are mine.

Mirrors are not a lot of fun to pass,
And snapshots are much worse. Take the I.D.
Picture taken only yesterday
(Take it-I don't want it): sallow face

Pear-shaped from smiling-lumpy anyway,
Droopy, squinty. General discouragement.
I'd blame the painter, if this were in paint,
But can't avoid acknowledging it's me,

No likeness by an artist I could blame
For being bad at matching in with out.
What I see, alas, is what I get.
Victim and culprit are myself and time—

Having seen which, it's time to turn aside;
Look out from, not in at, an aging face
That happens to be mine. No more disgrace
Lies in having lived then having died.

The Chicken Recipe - 10/29/07

Tender Baked Parmesan Chicken

 

Heavy duty aluminum foil

No Stick cooking spray

 

½ cup real mayonnaise

1/3 cup shredded parmesan cheese (not grated)

½ tsp. garlic powder

1 to 1-1/4 pounds boneless, skinless fresh chicken breasts

½ cup Italian bread crumbs

 

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.  Line a shallow baking pan with foil.  Spray foil with cooking spray and set aside.

 

Combine mayonnaise, cheese and garlic powder.

 

Coat chicken with mayonnaise mixture, then with bread crumbs.  Place on foil lined baking pan.

 

Bake 15-20 minutes or until lightly browned and tender.

 

Makes four servings.  Chicken is very moist and tender.

 

Leftovers are great sliced and put on salads or reheated

My First Multiplication - 10/28/07

I thought that I should write a little post for this page to test out how its done.  Yahoo's problems seem to be getting worse everyday making it more difficult for people to post and write in comments.  I miss the community that I had there and hope it can be rebuilt.

Yesterday I spent the day with my Mom as usual for a Saturday.  I got her groceries and then we had a nice visit.  I think I pulled a muscle in my back carrying in all the bags.  I forgot to take my cart this time and, of course, had to carry everything in in one trip instead of being sensible about it.

Today I'm going to do some cooking ahead for the week just in case we end up having to go to Georgetown Hospital again.  I'm going to make navy bean soup, and some parmesan baked chicken breasts.  I'm also going to bake a pumpkin pie and some more brownies.  Husband is really into brownies now.  I may post the recipe for the chicken in the near future as it is quite tasty.

The picture is a look back to my trip to England in October 2003.

 

Yahoo! 360° - Cheryl's Profile

http://360.yahoo.com/grouperjones
My Yahoo 360 blog

Yahoo Angst - 10/26/07

If you are reading this, thank your lucky stars! Usually anymore you'd have been taken to an old blog I did in July. Nothing wrong with that one, but it might lead you to believe that I've been silent here for awhile. Yahoo is having issues. They say, they are going to be moving the 360 community to a new platform by February 2008. What they actually appear to be doing is driving everyone away from Yahoo by increasing the number of bugs and delays in the system and promising that they won't be fixing any of them on the old system. Also they have no real idea as to what the new platform will actually be or look like. (My Government friends will realize this is much like the helpful software we had rammed down our throats several years ago.)

My first inclination is just to ride this out and see what they offer at the end, but with everyone leaving or thinking of leaving, it may be pretty lonely here at the end. So today I think I will explore some of the other options. I guess I'll end up running concurrent blogs (same new content on both). I will post a link here to the new page when I have it ready.

And the Answer is..... - 10/24/07

We had our consult with the cyber knife doctors at Georgetown today. We still don't have a definitive answer. They want to treat his neck tumor but they need more information about his total previous radiation load to the neck area before they can make a final decision. Since it takes about 5 weeks to get a treatment plan in place, they want to go ahead and start the planning process now which Warren has agreed to do. They'll call tomorrow to set up a PET scan and a simulation (where they make the mesh mask that will hold his head still on the table for treatment). If they do treat, he'll get five treatments over the course of a week's time. They have to be able to eliminate as much risk to the spinal cord as possible as it is very susceptible. Damage at the T-1 area could make Warren a quadraplegic. Further incursion of the tumor will have the same result. Its a crap shoot boys and girls.

It took us 2 hours to get there, and two hours to get home. Parking cost me $25.00 for a little over 4 hours. They do have a way to get a discount, but I didn't bother for one trip. I guess if we go back there, I'll have to look into that. It took us 20 minutes to get out of the parking garage. It was a mess with everyone trying to leave at once. I'm exhausted.

Big Day Tomorrow - 10/23/07

Picture: A few red leaves outside my kitchen window

Tomorrow is our big appointment day at Georgetown for the consultation on cyber knife treatment. We both have mixed feelings about the treatment. Even Warren says he doesn't know if he wants them to say yes or no. There are just too many unknowns about what benefits or problems would result from it. I'm hoping that whatever they say tomorrow, that the answers are clear cut.

We went to NIH today for the Oncology clinic. If he gets treated at Georgetown, NIH wants us back there 3 weeks after the last cyber knife treatment. If he doesn't get treated there, they want us back in mid-November to see what protocols will be available for him at that time.

We didn't get home from the hospital today until 2:30. We had lunch and then I went for groceries and got gas in the car. I'm tired now, but probably should go start dinner before I fall asleep. Last night we had some Healthy Choice dinners that were in the freezer. I'm sorry, they may be good for you, but they didn't offer much in the way of taste. Tonight I'm going to make a shrimp stir-fry.

We might actually get some soaking rains in the next few days and the temperatures should drop down into the 70's and 60's. I don't much like having July in October. Its wrong somehow.

Close Up - 10/19/07

Here is a close up shot of the crocheted spread.

Just a Peak - 10/19/07

This is a picture of my bedroom. I'm posting it to show the hand crocheted bedspread on top of the comforter. I just put it on the other day and I can't decide if I like it or if its just too fussy for my tastes. My Grandmother bought it at a flea market years ago for $25.00. Its big enough to fit my king-sized bed. I'm sure its worth more than that now. It seems a shame to have these things and not use them sometimes.

Just a little peak into my life

A Learned Skill - 10/19/07

Today we had a call from Georgetown saying they had not yet received any faxed data from NIH. The people I spoke to yesterday at NIH assured me they were faxing the data right after I talked to them. and I was sure that they had done so. I called those two women back and sure enough they had faxed yesterday. The woman in Radiation/Oncology had faxed 103 pages of data...twice because the first time she got a "failed message" message. I gave both of the women at NIH the name and number of the woman who had called from Georgetown this morning. It seemed to me that by connecting the senders with the receiver, it took me out of the middle. I think its their problem to work out and not mine. Perhaps I worked for the Government for too long, and understand the workings of large organizations, but I know exactly where to stick the pin in the the rump of the behemoth to get it to turn in the direction I want it to go. I've still got the skill!!

A Productive Day - 10/18/07

Today was busy. I spent quite a bit of time on the phone arranging to have data faxed from NIH to Georgetown and arranging to get a CD copy of the recent CT scan and MRI. I think everything is done on my part, except to pull together a concise list of all the chemo therapies he's had in the last f0ur years. I have his medical history in a Microsoft word file, but I want to pare it down to one page for ease of catching them up with everything. I also got the 31 page email from Georgetown so we can start filling out forms. NIH needed a signed medical release form to make the CD for us, so they emailed me the form. I filled it out, Warren signed it, I scanned it and attached the scanned copy to an email and sent it back to them. Don't you just love technology? I think Warren was impressed, but I'm very process oriented so I know how to make processes work efficiently.

I even broke out the ironing board this afternoon (I hate ironing), but I just wanted to get that taken care of.

Today's picture shows the curtains we put up this week. The room is our guest room which has an alcove that Warren uses for his office. My goal with the curtains was to sort of block the view to that cabinet he insisted on putting in there. They are so sheer they don't do a lot of blocking though. I bought those in the Spring to use doing the warmer weather and haven't gotten around to getting something different for winter. If I get something opaque it will block the light and that's the only window in that room. Let's just say the room is a work in progress. Eventually there will be color on the walls. Right now its a big beige box (like all of the apartment actually). As soon as we moved in here, he got sick so there hasn't been a lot of time and energy for decorating. The quilt was made by my Aunt Mary and her Mother in the 1980's. The pattern is called "Wedding Ring". The quilt you can partially see on the wall was made in the 1930's and was a wedding gift from a friend of mine. Its called "Grandmother's Flower Garden" I believe. She bought it at an antique shop in Californina.

My Granddaughter is here tonight because there is no school tomorrow. So she'll get to spend two nights with us this week.

I hope those of you in the middle of the country stay safe tonight with all of the tornado warnings in effect. Be safe and well.

Next Step - 10/17/07

We heard back from Georgetown today and have an appointment with them next Wednesday afternoon. We have to get all sorts of information to them prior to the appointment, but hopefully we can get NIH to provide what is needed. I called Radiation/Oncology at NIH today to get the information they have faxed over and will call Oncology tomorrow for the rest of the data. We were supposed to get an email packet from Georgetown today with forms to fill out and directions, etc., but that didn't come through yet, so I suppose I'll have to call back about that.

Yesterday afternoon we put up some curtain rods (always a treat) and today we got the tie-back hooks put up. We don't always work well together. Mr. Engineer has one way of doing things and I have another. At least we can still laugh about the way we butt heads.

One of THOSE Days - 10/16/07

Picture: My Grandcat Dinah looking at little fishies swimming across the computer screen at her house

I guess its going to be one of THOSE days where everything that you try to do is impeded. I tried calling Georgetown Hospital again this a.m. and got the same message as yesterday, so I called the Department instead of the specific person I was directed to on Friday. The person answering the phone in the Department told me that the specific person was returning her calls, but that each call back requires a lot of information intake. They can't just make an appointment for someone to come in for a consult; they must evaluate up front whether or not the patient would even qualify medically for this treatment. She said give her 48-hours from when I left my message so if not today, then by tomorrow early I should hear from her. I suggested that they might want to put that on her phone recording and it would save a lot of angst to the people trying to contact them. I really, really, really, wouldn't want her job. Can you imagine talking to people all day long for whom the treatment really is a life or death issue? So now I am tied to the phone line until I hear from her I guess. I think there are only 3 local hospitals that have this treatment option and they must be swamped (Georgetown Hospital, Sinai Hospital in Baltimore, and MedStar Hospital in Baltimore). To be honest, I don't think Warren will qualify for this treatment anyway because of all of the previous radiation he's had to this area, but we have to follow this lead where it goes.

So I thought, while I was waiting this morning for a call back I'd look at my emails...WRONG! I couldn't access my incoming mailbox. Verizon said "Its on a different server" and it wouldn't read my password. Oh great! Well I looked around and tried to find a phone number to contact them, chatted with my Son briefly about it, checked the account on line and decided that it wasn't me, it must be THEM. I waited an hour and now I can download my new email (so far only ones I've sent me), but the test message I sent earlier hasn't come through and neither have any of my overnight junk emails that I always get. If you sent me an email between about midnight last night and noon today, I didn't get it, please re-send.

I wonder if Mercury has gone retrograde again? That would explain all the screwiness with communications today. I can't leave the house, so I'm going to have to find something to occupy my time today so I don't go nuts. (I know, I know, its a short drive.)

I think I'll check out the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) on-line (OMG, don't try to call them, talk about impediments!) to see how I go about getting the title for my car. I thought once you paid off the lien that they mailed you the title. I paid the car off in July '03 and I still just have the "Maryland Notice of Security Interest Filing" showing the lien and the letter from Chrysler releasing the lien...no car title. I'm thinking about trading the car in the Spring so I thought I should get the title ahead of time.

Yea! I just got my first "JUNK" email of the day! I guess they're resolving their issues. Now if I could only resolve my issues :-).

Crazy Quilt - 10/15/07

This is a picture of a "crazy quilt" I have that was made by someone in Warren's family. Everyone who might know who, is gone now. I think it was probably done in the 1920's or 1930's. I think I might use it as a wall hanging if I can find a way to do so while protecting the fibers from sunlight and dust. I've seen one before that was folded to a reasonable size and framed under low-E glass.

I tried calling Georgetown Hospital today and left a message but didn't receive a return call so tomorrow I have to start calling again. We have to get that consult set up.

Sears came and fixed the ice maker today and since I purchased the protection plan last year, it didn't cost anything today. Seems like that plan was a good idea. The rest of the morning I kept busy with paperwork; paying bills and balancing the checkbook. After lunch I went to the grocery store and the post office. I tried to get a hair cut too, but the stylist I wanted wasn't in, so I'll try again tomorrow or Wednesday.

It was a quiet day. Warren is doing OK. He has some numbness in his left hand, but it doesn't seem to be getting any worse at the moment.

For Robin - 10/13/07

Isn't this a beautiful photo?

Some News - 10/12/07

The Radiologist from NIH called this afternoon and let us know that she had gotten the records from the Radiologist who had done Warren's 1st 9-weeks of radiation in 2004. That information, coupled with the records they had for the second 9-weeks of radiation he received there at the end of 2005, led them to conclude that they can't safely radiate him with the technology they have available there. She said she agonized over the decision, but they don't want to cause harm. She suggested that we get a consult with the cyber-knife doctors at Georgetown Hospital Center to see if they could give him treatment. So Monday, I'll try to get that set up.

I think we're going to also set up a meeting with hospice to see what we would need to do to get them on board when further treatments are no longer an option.

Quote from a Favorite Author - 10/11/07

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

Robert A. Heinlein

No News Yet - 10/9/07

Today's consult with Radiation Oncology didn't result in any treatment decisions as yet. First they need the specifics of the first 9-weeks of radiation he received in 2004 from a private Radiologist to determine the total load he's already received. He was re-radiated at NIH at the end of 2005 and they have those records. The 1st radiologist was called today and those records are in storage and it will take several days for them to be retrieved and sent to NIH. The report on the MRI of the cervical spine that was done last Tuesday afternoon hadn't been posted in their system yet so the doctors were going to go look at the films later today. Another problem is that since Warren isn't currently enrolled in any protocol they can't treat him. So they'll be working with the oncologists there to see if they can find another protocol for him that will allow treatment. They say they have a radiation treatment there that is similar to a cyber knife called Tomotherapy. That is a CT guided system for delivering very precise amounts of radiation all around the tumor (the picture above is of that device). Once they determine if it would be safe to give Warren any further radiation they'll let us know what they come up with for a treatment plan.

This treatment will help alleviate problems associated with spinal cord compression by the tumor. I don't believe that anyone thinks this will be a cure.

I think I'm just going to relax and enjoy this little break in the action, for as long as it lasts.

Soup Recipe for Monday - 10/8/07

I promised a friend over a week ago that I would start posting soup recipes once a week during the cooler weather months. It's still in the 90's here on the East Coast, but I'm sure cooler weather can't be too far off. So today, the day before we have to go back to NIH to consult with Radiation/Oncology to see what fresh hell they have to offer, I thought I'd post a lovely little soup recipe that I got from Prevention magazine several years ago. It makes up in about 20 minutes and is great with crusty bread and sliced cheese.

Pasta E Fagiole

2 tsp. olive oil
1 sm. onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cans (14.5 oz each) chicken broth (Prevention suggests fat free, sodium reduced)
1 can (15 oz) diced tomatoes
1 can (15 oz) cannellini or white beans rinsed and drained
1/2 cup ditalini or other small pasta
1/2 lb. Swiss chard leaves or spinach leaves coarsely chopped
1/4 tsp. salt
Parmesan cheese

1. Warm the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 to 5 minutes or until the onion is soft.

2. Add the broth, tomatoes (with juice), beans and pasta. Cook stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes, or until the pasta is cooked. Add the Swiss chard and the salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 to 3 minutes or until the Swiss chard is wilted. For added flavor sprinkle grated Parmesan cheese and black pepper on the pasta e fagiole just before serving.

Makes 6 servings

Per serving: 157 calories, 10 g protein, 23 grams carbs, 2 g fat, 0 g sat fat, 0 mg chol, 6 g fiber, 410 mg sodium

Now the beauty of soup people is that you can use what you have available at the time. Any kind of cooked greens can be used in place of the chard and reduces the amount of cooking time by three minutes or so. I've used cut up leftover cooked collard greens, spinach, and kale. I also will use vegetable broth in place of the chicken broth to make it a more vegetarian dish.

This is a quick, healthy dinner. Its great the next day too and can be frozen.

Another Maxine Cartoon - 9/20/07

Happy Birthday Grandma - 9/20/07

Something is reminding me that today was my paternal Grandmother's birthday. So Happy Birthday Grandma Isabel (pictured above). She's been gone since 1963. Its hard to believe that much time has passed.

Trash Talk - 9/18/07

I'm so irritated this afternoon I could spit nails. Somehow I have let the outside world intrude upon my serenity which should reassure some of you that I am human after all.

What has set me off is trash. Our community has outside dumpsters and for some reason the one that is nearest to our building has a habit of being overlooked by the waste management company. It was not emptied on Monday. I didn't know this yesterday afternoon when I took the trash out. I had a full trash bag, a bag of newspapers and a used furnace filter all of which needed to be disposed of. I opened the door to the dumpster enclosure and there were trash bags on the ground which is not a good sign. I then opened the side door to the dumpster and it was completely full. I was annoyed at this point, because I knew that we were missed again. However, being a civic minded owner I walked around the other building where there are two dumpsters that apparently had been emptied and put my trash in there. I then called the management company to let them know.

Today I went back out there to check and it still is not emptied but you'll be glad to know that enterprising lazy a** owners or tenants have managed to fill the entire enclosure around the dumpster with their trash. The trash company will not pick up this stuff on the ground. When they do finally come to empty this, they will put the dumpster back down on trash bags and they'll be stuck there indefinitely.

I so want to go put a sign on the dumpster that says "If the lady with muscular dystrophy can walk to the next building to throw her trash away, why can't you?"

The management company let me know a little while ago that the trash company is supposed to be here Wednesday to take care of this. Why bother? They're scheduled to come again on Thursday anyway. Will they miss us again then?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE TODAY?

Normally things like this don't bother me. Normally I don't take the trash out Warren does. Life isn't normal these days and I'm redirecting my anger and grief at trash. I know that. Just let me vent. You don't even have to comment on this post. I feel better already.

A Rare Day at Home - 9/16/07

Today is a day at home. This seems to be a rarity lately between my obligations to Warren, my Mother and myself. There is a lot of catch up domestic duties that need attending to, so the washer is running as well as the dishwasher. The bathrooms need cleaned and the furniture needs dusting, but some of that will have to wait for tomorrow. Chicken is thawing for dinner. I think I'll cook it with peppers and onions in tomato sauce with some pasta.

Its cool here today. Fall is definitely in the air. Autumn is my favorite time of year; it always has been. I love the crisp cool air and the colors of the leaves as the season moves forward.

I feel like I've taken down my sails today and am just floating on a calm, flat sea.

Enjoy your Sunday wherever you are.