Tsunami - 4/29/08

Tsunami

Before the wave came
the sea pulled back
revealing a seldom seen terrain of bottles, flopping fish, an old shoe.
Many walked out to search for treasures,
they did not know the wave was coming.

They wrapped them in colorful cloths
like flowers from the Earth garden;
harvested and stacked like kindling
or laid out in rows.

They say no animals died, they knew the sea was coming.
Even the elephants stampeded to higher ground
saving the hapless humans on their backs
because they knew the wave was coming.

The wave is coming.
I can see how the sea bed slopes down and away,
down and away from here.
There is no higher ground.
There is no running away.
There is only the bed of sand spreading out and the water coming in.

You Know You're Getting Old When.... 4/23/08

The other day my Granddaughter asked me if I have "Life Alert".  I told her no and she said "don't you think you should get that?"  Now for those of you who suffer from chronic youngness, Life Alert is a gadget that you wear around your neck and if you've "fallen and can't get up" you push the button and help is summoned for you.  You can also push the button if your house catches on fire or someone breaks into your home.  I suspect if you're bored or lonely you probably shouldn't push that button; might cost you more.  I've had a theory that we only age when the people in the following generations start pushing us into it from behind (so stop that Megan).

I personally don't think I'm that old.  I remember what it felt like to be 16, 20, 30, 40, 50 and 60.  I'm sure you've heard that 60 is the new 30.  (That's Boomer for "I'm Never Growing Old, EVER!)

On the home front,  things are about the same with a few changes.  We had an oxygen concentrator delivered yesterday as Warren experiences shortness of breath from time to time.  He's sleeping a whole lot more too.  On Monday he asked the Hospice nurse when she was coming back and she said Monday.  He told her he might not be here Monday, so she's coming back today.  You have to honor what the person who is dying is feeling.  Time will tell.

Invasion of Privacy - 4/20/08

I don't usually pay any attention to the advertisements that Google places on my Multiply homepage, but today they caught my attention.  There was "Spirituality in Reality", "The Healing God Network", "10 Rules to Cut Belly Fat" (How did they know?), "Soul Discovery" and "Yoga and Reiki Healing".  For the most part I am flattered that I have attracted such high minded advertisers into my experience, but there is another part of me that finds Google's use of using key words in my blog to *target* me, for lack of a better word, for any kind of advertisements, distasteful and an invasion of my privacy.  I know I'm being naive here and they do this to earn money so that this service that I use can remain free of cost.  I also just had a conversation with my son the other day about privacy being an illusion in today's society.  So perhaps I'm just conflicted.  On one hand I know that its just the way the world is now in our techno-world, but on the other hand a part of me longs for a simpler, more authentic way of life.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad - April 18, 2008

Today is my Mom and Dad's 63rd wedding anniversary. The year was 1945 and my Dad was a Staff Sargent in the United States Marine Corps serving in the Pacific war zone. He was home on furlough. "The bride wore a white street length dress with navy blue accessories and a corsage of pink rosebuds and white sweet peas." They were married in the rectory of St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. The war was a few months shy of being over; a few months before Nagasaki and Hiroshima were bombed ushering in the atomic age. I was born at the end of the following year as part of the "Baby Boom".

I wish I had a picture of my parents on their wedding day, but if any were taken, none have survived to this time. The picture I posted must have been right around that time. Dad passed away in 2001.

Remembering Cat - April 10, 2008

Today I’m remembering “Cat” (Carol) who left us one year ago today.  She died on Walker’s birthday and all her friends believe that that was no coincidence.  I’ve included a poem written by her Shaman teacher which I received from Skylark.  Blessings to her in her new life.

 

 

REMEMBERING

Without words, 

Night speaks to the day,

The clouds with the Earth;

And the rocks of their birth.

Man uses many words

To hide his heart

From the Great-Spirit;

But the Heart remembers

Who created it.

The Voice of Spirit

Thunders over the deserts,

Echoes in the mountains

And rolls over broad waters...

The Heart remembers that Voice. 

 

Walker

9-8-83

 

Life Here - 4/9/08

I used to think that death was an event that happened all at once.  I'm learning that death is a process and is different for every person.  I never thought that my husband would see the end of January.  When that date passed, I thought surely February would be his last few weeks.  Here we are in April and while he is showing some disease progression, his quality of life is still relatively high.  I have to constantly remind myself to take care of me too; to pace myself; to rest. 

Last Tuesday he had another of what we thought was a TIA (mini-stroke).  The hospice people now think it may have been a seizure.  They based that on his mental state for the hours immediately following the event.  He was in a sort of quiet, contemplative yet confused state that usually follows seizure activity.  I don't think it really makes a difference which it was.  Both would indicate a neurological disturbance in the body brought about by the tumors.  Last Tuesday afternoon he fell, but managed to get himself back up off the floor.  His ankle and knee were sore and we used ice on them for two days, but his ankle is still black and blue.  He says it doesn't hurt, but I wonder if he could have cracked the bone and is just so full of pain meds that he doesn't feel the pain.  His ankle was swollen before so you can't really tell by that.  He really doesn't remember anything about Tuesday at all.  Its been erased for him.

I decided the last time I went for groceries that I wasn't going to do that anymore for the duration.  The Giant chain has a grocery delivery service called Peapod.  This week I opened an account on line and ordered my groceries.  They were delivered on Monday right to my front door.  I was pleased with the service.  I checked pull dates for freshness and everything was fine.  There are some things you can't seem to get and there are less options on some things, but all in all it works for me.

The weather here has been overcast and rainy/drizzly for over a week now.  I think tomorrow we're supposed to get some sun shine.  I'm looking forward to Spring looking and acting a little more Spring-like.

Our days are quiet and revolve around the medication schedule.  I try to keep busy with the housekeeping and bookkeeping because that helps keep my spirits on an even keel.  The home health aide has been here already this morning and the hospice nurse will be here for her second visit of the week.  Apparently his BP was up a little on Monday and she wanted to check on him again today.

That should catch everyone up with us.  I hope you all are having a wonderful day.

First Tuesday - 4/1/08

Warren had another TIA this morning. Funny its the first Tuesday of the month and his last TIA happened on the first Tuesday of last month. He's doing a little better this afternoon, but doesn't seem to be rebounding as quickly as the last time.

That's the news of the day and IS NOT a joke.