As the year is winding down, I feel as if I'm coming to the end of a very long road. The funny thing is, the road isn't ending. I think sometimes that the road will never end. I am tired down into my bones. Warren and I are both tired. Tired of the drive, tired of the chemo, tired of being in the medical zone all of the time. And yet, where else can we be?
Today was a long one at NIH. We got there about 7:30 this morning and left at 4:00 p.m. Our clinic visit was at 10:00, but we didn't get in to see the doctor until noon. That slowed everything up. He finished his chemo at 2:45 p.m., so that means he can't start it until 2:45 p.m. on Friday. This will make Friday a late day as well and its really hard to find someone to read that last EKG late on a Friday.
When the alarm went off this morning at 5:00 a.m., my first thought was that it was really Wednesday and that Warren had forgotten to turn off the alarm. See how my brain tried to protect me from the truth that I really had to get up?
For dinner I made baked pork chops, baked sweet potatoes, steamed brocolli, cranberry-orange stuffing and cheese bisquits. Don't ask me why; I have no idea.
On the advice of my acupuncturist, I've taken today to feel sorry for myself so that I can feel it and let it out of my system. Tomorrow is another day.
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