Entry for Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - Sometimes Its All Up Hill

Yesterday was an NIH/Clinic/Chemo day.  So as usual, we left the house early.  Because it was primary election day in Maryland, schools were closed and so our Granddaughter got to come with us.  She's a lot like her Grandmother, cranky in the early morning; but we got past that by the time we got to Bethesda.  We had to take an alternate route as they apparently had been playing "roll over the semi" on the inner loop earlier.  In addition to his usual activities on Tuesday, they've decided to have him start doing some physical rehab there (as well as at home) because his left shoulder is starting to droop more and they are fearing that it will lock up if not moved.  For those of you who don't know our history.  In March of 2005, Warren had a radical neck dissection to remove cancerous nodules from his left neck.  This was the first recurrence of his cancer.  During that procedure they removed the left jugular vein, all of the lymph nodes down to his clavicle and the 11th or accessory nerve.  The accessory nerve sends signals from the brain that move the shoulder up and down and hold it in place.  With that nerve gone, the shoulder droops.  At the time we hoped that would be the end of his cancer; however, one and a half months later it showed up again in his neck along the trapezius muscle outside of the original surgical field.  It grew very rapidly and the chemo the oncologist was giving him failed to stem its progress.  It was at that point that we were directed to look for an experimental study, which led us to NIH.  NIH was able to clear the disease in his neck through daily radiation combined with twice weekly chemo for 9 straight weeks.  There are some some places in the chest that are being treated now.  That should bring everyone up to present time.  By the time we got home last evening and our Granddaughter got picked up, we were wiped out for the day.

This morning I woke up with a sinus headache which is starting to go away.  I can't remember the last time I had one of those.

Its cloudy and overcast today with intermittent showers.  I'll have to watch that window in the kitchen to make sure it doesn't start leaking again.  We still haven't heard back from the builder, but they are working what looks to be the same problem in the building next to ours.  In fact they've taken off the siding starting above the third floor down to the below the second floor (first floor there are garages) and they're putting plastic up over the windows.  The siding has been off for over a week, I guess the rain has brought them back to cover the area to keep any additional water from entering the building.  The association still hasn't released the builder (after 3 years) and had to hire an independent building engineer to do a study on issues that need to be corrected prior to release. 

I should go get my hair cut later, but I may wait until tomorrow. 

This seems like a blah kind of day.  Hope you're having a better one.

I would love to visit Machu Pichu; that's why the picture.

Entry for Monday, September 11, 2006 - Things Remembered

Let us have a moment of silence to honor all who lost their lives in New York, at the Pentagon and in that field in Pennsylvania on 9/11/01.  Peace be with you.

Entry for Saturday, September 09, 2006 - All Cried Out

I am all cried out!  I went to see my Mom today and she and my Sister-in-law got to talking about Miss Kitty (their cat) that recently had to be put down.  They needed to talk about her and Mom said they've been doing that all week.  So the three of us sat around and cried.  Anytime anyone cries, I'm right there with them...apparently I'm getting real good at it.  My Sister-in law has been working for the past year (as a volunteer) putting together the family memory book for the Fallen Fire Fighters Foundation's yearly memorial service.  Every year at FEMA in Emmitsburg they have a week-end long series of events to memorialize fire fighters who have lost their lives in the line of duty in the previous year.  She brought out a copy of that to show me and off we went with more tears.  The book is beautiful and she did a fantastic job designing it and laying it out.  The families will be blown away when they see it.  I couldn't read all of the biographies of all those men and women that were written by their families.  It would have broken my heart completely.  I read a few and Patti told me stories of others.  Needless to say my nose is red and my eyes are puffy.  I'm a mess.

The picture is of a forest fire in the Bitterroot National Forest in (Montana) August 6, 2000.  It is savagely beautiful.

 

Entry for Friday, September 08, 2006 - Fresh Air

Sorry I skipped Thursday this week.  I had a lovely visit from my friend Joan yesterday afternoon.  Despite all of the traffic snarls yesterday she still managed to find her way here!  After Joan left, I *thought* about going out to the grocery store, but instead I *fell* into a good book.  I'm currently reading "The House of the Spirits" by Isabel Allende.  Its not new, it was written in 1982, but an excellent read.  I highly recommend it.

Last night I watched "Flight 93" on A&E and had myself a good cry.  I'm sure that won't be the last of those with the 5th year anniversary of 9/11 on Monday.  Its hard to imagine yourself in that situation and wonder whether you'd have the courage to do what had to be done. 

Wasn't yesterday a beautiful day?  I didn't get outside except to walk my friend out when she left, but I did have the windows open all day.  I kept thinking I smelled something burning outside all day and mentioned it to my husband but he didn't smell it.  He said maybe its just the way fresh air smells anymore.  That's a strange thought.  Why would the air smell burnt?  Global warming perhaps?  Anyway, now that the windows are closed overnight there is still this heavy, sweet smell that lingers that wasn't here before the open windows.  Very weird.

Today its off to NIH for chemo again.  I'm hoping that the traffic gods are appeased and we'll have no more Beltway shutdowns.  We have to go three times next week because on Monday he'll have his monthly checkup with the ENT clinic.  We'll tell them about the new neck "blip" on the recent PET scan to see what they make of it; but probably they'll want to wait and see too.

Here's hoping your Friday is lovely.  I might add to this later today if anything shows up in my life that needs to enter the *blogosphere*.

Entry for Friday, September 08, 2006 - An Invisible Sea

Ever since Thursday afternoon, I've been in a funny mood.  I feel as though I'm sinking into some invisible sea; really sinking into myself more and more.  As we drove home from NIH this afternoon, I kept the car window open to let in the air and the noise because I felt like I needed it to feel real, or maybe that's not the most accurate word, to feel more like I'm back in reality.  For a long time I thought it was the aura of the book I'm reading.  Sometimes I fall so far into a good book that I lose all sense of my place in time and the book can become more real that my reality for awhile.  I've been reading pretty much non-stop today.  But then I remembered I've felt this way before, recently.  It happened after acupuncture several weeks ago where I just really detached emotionally from my life and spent a whole day in contemplation.  It was very restorative.  So that is probably what is going on here.  Have I mentioned lately how weird my life really is?